by Jane Larkin. This article has been reprinted with permission from InterfaithFamily.com
One
of the things I’ve learned about being a parent is that while my
husband and I are our son’s primary role models and key influencers of
the choices he makes, raising a child is a communal effort. Teachers,
coaches, siblings, camp counselors, clergy, extended family,
babysitters, and peers play a part in shaping who and what our child
will become.
Cameron and I often talk about how fortunate we are
to have found many excellent teachers and coaches for our son Sammy.
Over the years, they have helped to nurture his love of learning,
bolstered his confidence and self-image, and reinforced the values and
behaviors that we work to instill at home.
But some of the most
influential people in Sammy’s life are not the adults or family members
he interacts with, or even his peers, but rather his teenage and young
adult babysitters. For Sammy, our first and only child, these young
people are like older siblings and the influence they exert on him is
significant.
This isn’t surprising. Recent research has shown
that older siblings are often more influential than parents. While many
studies focus on how bad behavior by older siblings foreshadows
similarly bad behavior by younger ones, findings also suggest that older
siblings’ good behavior can be just as contagious.
We’re lucky,
the kids – well kids to me – who sit for Sammy are mensches. A mensch
has rectitude, dignity, and a sense of what is right. It is a person to
admire and emulate. What makes this Yiddish word a fitting description
of our sitters is that they also all happen to be Jewish.
The
hiring of Jewish babysitters was coincidental. We were connected to them
through friends, teachers, rabbis, and acquaintances at our synagogue.
This access to teens and twenty-somethings with strong characters and a
desire to earn a few dollars watching children has been a fringe benefit
of temple membership.
Over the years our sitters have shown
Sammy how to interact with adults and children in positive ways, be
responsible, respectful, and goal- and achievement-oriented. They have
nurtured his love of reading, architecture, and sports; and encouraged
creativity and physical activity.
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