When the Rabbi's Other Half Isn't Jewish

The Seesaw for The Jewish Daily Forward

We just moved east and are currently shopping around for synagogues. We have narrowed it down to two. We feel more at home with the congregation at one of them, and the rabbi at the other. One of the issues with the rabbi we feel less at home with is the fact that she has a non-Jewish boyfriend — something we just aren’t comfortable with. Seesaw, are we old-fashioned and intolerant? Or is this a reasonable line to draw?

Whatever You Choose, It Will Change You

Your question offers an opportunity to ponder the significance of being “at home” and comfortable in one’s chosen synagogue, and the respective roles played by rabbi and congregation in creating that experience of being at home for you. Your apparent suspicion that you may be “old fashioned” and “intolerant,” suggests that the choice you face in selecting a synagogue has opened a question you’ve not previously considered.

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