Rabbi Preferred, Judaism Essential

This article has been reprinted with permission from InterfaithFamily

By Molly Ritvo*

Long before I met my now husband, I remember having tea in a rabbi’s home, after my grandmother passed. I recall the afternoon sun casting a slight glow around the wise rabbi. As I bit into a molasses cookie made by the rabbi’s loving wife, I remember him saying “I feel like Jewish people who intermarry miss out on a Jewish experience.” I remember his words hitting me hard. I was confused and saddened by his remark. I also remember not questioning why the rabbi said that.

As I left the rabbi’s house with even more cookies wrapped up in a small brown bag, my thoughts wandered to the many families I know that have only one Jewish parent. I recalled Shabbat dinners where the blessings were led by both parents and I remember attending Hanukkah parties filled with people from all different backgrounds lighting candles together while their children played. I thought of close family friends who have known me my whole life and who exemplified the word mensch, yet who may not know the first thing about Judaism. I also recalled my mother once telling me that all marriages are intermarriages in a way, as everyone has a different spiritual and religious background. Both of my parents came from Jewish families from the same Boston suburb, yet they expressed and felt their Jewishness in vastly different ways. I grew up believing and understanding that being Jewish comes from within and has nothing to do with labels.

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*Molly is the Content Manager at Jvillage Network