By Rebecca Cynamon-Murphy for ThanksgivukkahBoston
My
family has always had a Thanksgivukkah tradition. Our local Whole Foods
usually makes a special purchase of vegan, kosher marshmallows to top
Thanksgiving sweet-potato casseroles. We always buy several bags—along
with fair-trade chocolate coins in bulk—to also make s’mores for
Hanukkah in our toaster oven. This year, as we celebrate both holidays
on the same day, we look forward to our holiday s’mores, as well as
preparing to make our usual Thanksgiving guests comfortable with
celebrating our Jewish holiday alongside us.As you start to think about your holiday plans, you might find that while Thanksgiving is normally a convergence of certain friends or family members, and Hanukkah is normally celebrated with other loved ones, this dual holiday will bring new people together. You might be at your in-laws’ house as usual for Thanksgiving, but this is the first time they will be celebrating Hanukkah. Or your children, who are just starting to grasp the meaning of each holiday, will have double the excitement on the second night of the Festival of Lights. Whomever you are celebrating with, it should be a fun and meaningful experience. Here are a few things to think about as you plan for your gathering, whether you’re a host or a guest.
Be a Hospitable Host
Consider sending a detailed email or having conversations with your guests to make clear any changes to the conventional Thanksgiving. Do you serve kosher meals on Jewish holidays? Will you light the candles of your menorah? Will guests bring their own to light? Will only the children light? Will gifts be given? Who gives to whom? What type of presents are usually exchanged?
At the gathering, practice the great Jewish tradition of teaching as we celebrate, and be prepared to provide translations of prayers, an easy-to-tell version of the miracle being celebrated, explanations of holiday foods, instructions for playing dreidel and even stories from your family’s previous celebrations to help guests get in the spirit. (And provide all of the necessary materials.)
Before the meal, consider altering prayers to be inclusive of all attendees. For instance, my father is Christian and usually concludes prayers with the phrase, “In Jesus’s name, amen.” When any of his children who are not Christian are present, he instead thanks God for Jesus within the prayer so that all can join him in the “amen” without feeling that they will have to pray in Jesus’s name. Examine your own prayer habits for similar ways you can encourage others to practice alongside you.
Be the Gracious Guest
If you’ll be guests in a home that isn’t Jewish (and you won’t be home before sundown), it is perfectly OK to call the host and discuss accommodations for your religious practice. If you are uncomfortable with prayers to the Trinity, work out a diplomatic way to share this. If you want to light candles and say the blessings, find out if your host is comfortable with that and, if so, offer to bring your usual holiday set-up and ask if you should bring extras so everyone can participate. Most people will be comfortable with this, but it’s also OK to politely explain that you will need to leave early.
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