I
never thought of myself as part of an interfaith marriage — more of a
faith/no-faith marriage. I am a Conservative Jew and my husband is a
former Jehovah’s Witness, now an “aspiring atheist.” I told him on our
first date that our children would be raised Jewish — indeed that they
would go to Jewish day school. A little forward, perhaps, but I had
friends who spent years arguing over faith until they finally decided
their relationship just wasn’t going anywhere. And I had friends who
wanted to expose kids to “a little bit of both” and then let them
decide. Bringing up children as Unitarians or Jews for Jesus wasn’t in
the cards for me.My approach was typical. Most of the interfaith couples I interviewed over the past few years for my book on interfaith marriage decided to raise their children in one faith or another. Over and over, these mothers and fathers used the word “impractical” to describe the idea of raising children in two faiths. And the older the child, the less likely they were to try it. It’s hard enough for many families to squeeze in time for one set of religious practices. Committing to two is probably going to cut into soccer or homework or just a little family downtime. One mother who raised her three children as Catholics and Jews told me “it was a good thing they weren’t athletic.”
At an event for interfaith families outside of Washington that I attended two years ago, the presiding rabbi told a group of newlyweds and engaged couples that the “December Dilemma” — the conflicts that arise over the celebration of Christmas and Hanukkah — shouldn’t be a great source of tension for them. “Easter and Passover are more of a dilemma,” he pointed out half-jokingly. You have to decide: “Was Jesus the Messiah? And who crucified him?”
Continue reading.
No comments:
Post a Comment