Talking to Children About Jewish Identity in an Interfaith Family

ReformJudaism.org

Children begin to ask identity questions at an early age. Who am I? Who is my family? Where do I belong? Why does my family celebrate some holidays and not others? These are all standard questions children ask to determine how they fit into their world

The same is true about religious identity. Children want to know the different ways they connect to their parents, and members of their extended family. For children in interfaith families, clarifying the role of religion in the family dynamic and the child’s personal identity from an early age  is important. The following guidelines will assist you when talking about Jewish Identity.

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Our Jewish Catholic Mexican American Newborn

by Anna Keller. This article has been reprinted with permission from InterfaithFamily.com

I grew up in an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood in Brooklyn, NY. My parents were liberals who met in the theatre where they had been professional actors. My father was a Brooklyn boy, born and raised in Crown Heights. My mother, a Baltimore native who said she always wanted to marry a Brooklyn boy, and so she did. They moved to Midwood, a Jewish neighborhood in Brooklyn. They wanted to be close to my Grandmother and to buy a house and to teach their children my brother and I the importance of our Jewish heritage. My father wanted us to always remember where we came from.

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Interfaith Baby Namings

Planning a ceremony when your family is multi-faith or multi-cultural.

By Debra Nussbaum Cohen
Today there is a good chance that someone special in your life who isn’t Jewish will be at your bris, simchat bat, or other welcoming ceremony for your new baby. It may be an aunt or uncle, grandparents, or even yourself or your partner: a non-Jewish parent who has pledged to raise this child in a Jewish home.

Both parents will obviously be involved in the planning of your ceremony, and to a certain extent can tailor it to their personal comfort level. For example, how much is said in English versus Hebrew, how much is focused on the idea of the covenant between God and the Jewish people, and how much focuses on more universalistic Jewish ideas and traditions. Welcoming ceremonies for girls, which are a relatively new phenomenon, are not “fixed” as the ancient rite of brit milah, and so there is often far more room for flexibility.

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Muslim and Jewish Feminists Gather to Seek Common Ground

by Betsy Teutsch for The Jewish Daily Forward    

Heba Macksound, a founding member of the first Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom Jewish-Muslim women’s interfaith dialog chapter, tells her story. “I was in the detergent aisle at ShopRite, thinking about what most Muslim women think about in the detergent aisle — which brand, and how many ounces to buy — when a man started cursing my hijab.” Macksound had the presence of mind to seek out the manager. “I am afraid to shop in your store,” she told Mark Egan. Egan responded by personally escorting her on her shopping trip.

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A Letter to Chelsea For Her Second Pregnancy

This article has been reprinted with permission from InterfaithFamily 

By Rabbi Keara Stein

Dear Chelsea & Marc,

First I want to say B’sha’ah tovah and mazel tov on your pregnancy. Your pregnancy announcement was adorable and I hope Charlotte adjusts to your pregnancy and the new baby once it arrives. I glanced below the article I read including your announcement and saw several comments from people who, for whatever reason, think they know what’s best for your family. If you haven’t read them yet, don’t. If you have read them, or if you’ve heard them elsewhere—I’m sorry people are treating you as the role model for interfaith families. I’m especially sorry your daughter will grow up hearing these comments and constantly having to explain her family to others.

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What Should I Tell My Toddler About Santa?

The Seesaw for The Jewish Daily Forward    

We are heading up to my in-laws for Christmas this year. (My husband is half Jewish; his family isn’t religious and Christmas is Jesus-free for them.) This isn’t my son’s first Christmas with them, but it’s the first time he will really get what is going on. He is three.

I’ve been following the advice to present Christmas as something that Grandma and Grandpa celebrate and that we will be joining them for, like a birthday, and he seems to kind of get it. But I’ve found myself stuck on how to talk about Santa. My son has cousins, 4 and 6, and they believe in Santa. I don’t want him to ruin it for them and therefore don’t plan on telling him that there is no such thing, but I am also not comfortable with him getting all excited about Santa. What should I do?

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My Son Won't Let Me Talk to His Wife About Converting

The Seesaw for The Jewish Daily Forward   

My daughter-in-law is wonderful. We love her. She is not Jewish, though has been a happy and willing participant at our holidays and at our Conservative temple and has told me that she is growing a real affection for our faith.

Now she is pregnant with my grandson and my son says we shouldn’t make too big a deal about matrilineal descent, that it doesn’t matter to him if she converts and they would be welcome at a Reform synagogue in the future. But I feel like I should have the right to at least express my feelings about the benefits of conversion to her, while making it clear that even though I will be disappointed if she doesn’t do it, I will love her and her child no less and our relationship will not change. Is my son being an unfair censor? Or I am inserting myself where I don’t belong?

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